Sirius Black's 'Birthday Experience'
by CrimsonHaired
Summary: Sirius Black is dragged to Narcissa's 16th birthday celebration during the summer of fifth year. Certain events follow.


Disclaimer: I don't own J.K. Rowling's characters, or the ideas. Ideas are all trite, but it's just the way you express it, honey. ;D  
  
Dearest Auntie Grettle,  
  
It is my pleasure to write you about my upcoming 16th birthday  
celebration! It will be from 6 o'clock until 12 o'clock on the  
evening of July 7th. I would love for you and Uncle Marshall to  
attend, and am especially looking forward to seeing young  
Regulus! I'm assured that he has inherited your good looks.  
Provided that everything works out, I shall see you then.  
  
Much love from-  
  
Narcissa (Nissa) Black.  
  
P.S. Please make sure Sirius comes along! I'd hate for him to miss  
the fun!  
  
Sirius couldn't help but snigger as he read Narcissa's neat, loopy scrawl. Seated between his mother and younger, insufferable 10-year-old brother Regulus, the teen was not at all in a happy disposition. It was the summer of his fifth year at Hogwarts, and as though being cooped up with his family was not torture enough, he was sure Narcissa had gone an excruciating length to have him invited to her party. What was she up to?  
  
The Black family had positioned themselves in a thestral-drawn carriage that was soaring high above the clouds.  
  
Regulus began to squirm and whined, "Are we there yet?"  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes and bit his tongue. His father was in the front of the carriage, and crossing the old man was never wise.  
  
When the carriage began to descend and pulled up in front of an abandoned looking estate Sirius exclaimed a mixture of a sigh and a groan.  
  
"Don't you start!" Scolded Grettle, straightening her dress robes and smoothing down her hair, snapping her mirror closed after examining her sagging features. "You ought to know that the only reason you're here is because Narcissa was kind enough to invite you, though Salazar knows why. You're a disgrace to the family!" She sobbed, using her kerchief to dab at the corners of her eyes.  
  
"Don't cry mama." Consoled Regulus as he snarled at his older brother. Sirius rolled his eyes and shoved his brother out of the carriage when the servant opened the door.  
  
"Hey!" Regulus whimpered, glancing around for his mother. She was lecturing the poor servant boy on how to carry the massive present up to the house while their father gruffly patted the back of the thestral, though it was invisible to both boys.  
  
"Bugger off." Grumbled Sirius as he dusted off his brand new silk robes. They were green, the color of the family's preferred Hogwarts house, and it also brought out the color of his eyes. Despite his mother's attempts, Sirius hadn't let a barber (or Kreacher) near his hair. One could go so far as to say it was shaggy looking, with tufts falling into his eyes if he did not keep them tucked back. He decidedly had enough reason to look brooding and mysterious.  
  
Sirius was very much disappointed to find that the inside of the house was not nearly as downtrodden as the outside. Should it have been, it would have suited the family's general attitude just perfectly in his opinion. The party was taking place in the grand ballroom, and all around him Sirius found the most detestable of company. Classmates, mostly all Slytherins with a few Ravenclaws spinkled into the mix, were clustered at the sidelines while some of the adults (parents and family friends), glided across the polished marble floor.  
  
Sirius' stomach lurched when he finally spotted Narcissa on the arm of that arrogant Lucius Malfoy. She had always been a petite thing that looked fragile in a way. Her hands were delicately small, and her skin was as flawless as porcelain. She had lashes that would flutter every which way like a distressed moth, and made her appear as though she always had something in her eye. Her lips always appeared painted and puckered. She had a nose that was long and pointed much like his own: precise and acute. Her hair fell in loose luscious curls, framing her face.  
  
Every time she glanced at Lucius she would giggle girlishly and bobble her head like some sort of deranged blonde chicken. Lucius appeared as apathetic as ever with his glazed blue eyes. His sturdy chin dimpled when he offered a polite, practiced smile at a guest or when he puckered his lips at Narcissa jokingly. With his hair pulled back, Sirius noted that Lucius almost looked like a girl. Stupid Slytherin gits.  
  
Sirius reluctantly received the burdensome present from the servant, trailing his parents and Regulus over to the table.  
  
"Why Auntie Grettle!" Narcissa exclaimed joyfully as she eyed the large present, eyelashes persistently flittering. "It's so wonderful you've made it! And is this actually Regulus? He looks like you more and more each coming day, Auntie. He has Uncle's eyes, though." Narcissa falsely smiled, clasping her lace-gloved hands. Her dress robes were a lurid color of pink, Sirius noticed from behind the box.  
  
"Take this, would you mate?" Sirius grunted, handing the box to the bewildered Lucius.  
  
"What do you expect me to do with this?" He scoffed, laying it at his feet and shaking his head at Narcissa.  
  
"Why Sirius! I thought you were the servant boy with that get up. So glad you could attend." She said in a sugar coated sarcastic tone.  
  
Sirius smirked and muttered, "Happy Birthday." Pivoting, he wandered off trailing, "Hope your hair catches on fire in all those candles." The rest of his immediate family ignored the fact that he was there to begin with.  
  
Sirius' night continued to proceed in the same fashion. Mostly he distracted himself at the refreshment table, and once he even asked a Ravenclaw girl to dance, although she apparently knew who he was and stormed off, utterly insulted. Sirius was lounging in a chair when a group of Slytherin classmates came by.  
  
"Oh look what we have here!" Chimed Lucius, the ringleader. "Someone's let a mutt in. Oh dear, it does stink!" Lucius took an over exaggerated whiff and mockingly lost his footing as the rest of the group snickered. "What do you think you're doing at Nissa's party, Sirius? I'm surprised they even let you in at the door." Squaring his shoulders, Sirius glared up sullenly at Lucius through his bangs.  
  
"What's it to you?" He spat.  
  
"What was that Gryffindor?" Lucius huffed, his lips a thin line on his beautiful features. He starred daggers at Sirius, who shrugged sluggishly.  
  
With a high pitched giggle Bellatrix Black arrived on the scene, examining the action from underneath her thick eyelids. "Oh do take it into the hallway." She sneered at Sirius, patting Lucius reassuringly on the arm. "Is he bothering you sweetie? I can certainly get daddy to get rid of him." She gave Sirius that, 'You're such a disgrace to the family', look.  
  
"Like this mongrel could bother me?" Lucius defended pompously, puffing out his chest a bit. "I don't think so." A few Slytherins nodded, muttering inaudibly. After Bellatrix had trotted off to find her sister and the group had disintegrated for the most part, Lucius glanced at Sirius and strained through clenched teeth, "I'll see you in the hallway." Lucius span, robes billowing behind him as Sirius exhaled heavily. This should be interesting, at least.  
  
The hallway leading into the ballroom was dimly lit by candles that waxed over their iron wall fixtures, having been burning for several hours on end. Family photographs lined the wall, and he could pick out Narcissa, Bellatrix and Andromeda each in turn. Narcissa was the fair headed one, and in each of her baby pictures she had that same listless expression. Bellatrix had dark tufts of hair, much like his own in her baby pictures. Even as a baby she had heavy lids that made her appear either very weary or very drunk. Andromeda, Sirius' favorite cousin by far, was fairly bald as a baby.  
  
Lucius jabbed Sirius in the back with his wand, hard. "Don't pay much attention, do you mate?" He sneered. Sirius slowly turned around, jaw clenched.  
  
"Bit selfish aren't you, mate? Causing a scene at your girl's party? In her house?" He inquired sarcastically. His expression never changed but remained sullenly set in place, hair obscuring his vision as he sized up Lucuis to himself.  
  
Both he and Lucius were tall and masculine for their age, although Lucius definitely had some girlish attributes. His fair hair was neatly pulled back to reveal his high forehead and bicycle handle like cheekbones. (Sirius did, after all, invest time in a motorcycle.) He had eyelashes that glistened in the dim light. His opaque blue eyes were fired with hatred, fueled by years of rivalry at the school. Sirius on the other hand was practically the opposite. Lucius had a few inches on him, but his shoulders were broader. He had a cleft chin that left no question on his masculinity. His hair was as dark as Lucius' fair, and his green eyes glared back at him with equal intensity.  
  
"Oh, I've been assured that no one will hear us Sirius. You think she actually likes you enough to invite you to her party without an alternate motive? Or did you think Andromeda pulled some strings?" Sneering, Lucius backed away, wand poised. So this was what they were up to, Sirius mused as he pulled out his own wand, rolling it between his fingers. Knowing the Slytherins, there were probably more hidden nearby. Sirius' eyes flickered upward at the mention of Andromeda. It was as though his face were set in stone, lacking in emotion.  
  
"Give it your best shot, Lucius." He hissed, flicking his wrist as he shifted into defensive stance.  
  
"I wouldn't exert myself that much on a Gryffindor." He scoffed, eyes gleaming maliciously. "Tarantallegra!" He exclaimed with a double swish of his wand.  
  
Without a moment of hesitation Sirius deflected the spell and shouted, "Furnunculus!" Lucius was not as speedy with his defense as Sirius had been. The spell hit him directly in the stomach, sending him reeling. Lucius immediately clutched at his face, moaning.  
  
"My face!" He sobbed, removing his hands to blink pitifully at Sirius. "My face!" He exclaimed as a large boil appeared on the tip of perfected nose. His skin was no longer flawlessly clean, nor did he have that snide expression. "Oh do something!" Lucius winced, discarding his wand on the marble floor.  
  
"Never count on a man to do anything right." Bellatrix scoffed, rolling her eyes at Lucius. "Sweetie, are you a wizard or not? Finite." She began with a twitch of her wand but decided to go against it. "You know, my sister really shouldn't be dating anyone as thick as you." Lucius moaned as a few boils popped, exposing the liquid pus to the air. She snarled, turning her attention to Sirius who was rooted in his spot. "So there you are. I see you found my little toy amusing, Sirius?" Bellatrix inquired, raising two delicately sculpted eyebrows.  
  
This certainly was a new turn on things. "So you're the one who roped Narcissa into inviting me." Sirius exhaled, obviously bewildered. He was still defensively holding his ground, muscled tensed and ready to spring at the slightest sign of an attack. Bellatrix remained motionless with her calm, diabolical smirk.  
  
"Tell me Sirius, what is it like to be the most hated member of the family?" She inquired with a step forward. Sirius flinched, gripping his wand. A sweat broke out under his arms and at his forehead as he focused his eyes on her, ignoring the withering Lucius in the background.  
  
"I'd say I'm quite a personable person, actually." He replied curtly, forcing himself to slow down else he sound too nervous. What on earth was she up to?  
  
"You know what, Sirius?" She drawled, holding her wand down idly at her side, nearing him. "I don't hate you all that much. I mean, after all, you do only make me want to wretch."  
  
"That's all?" He retorted viscously.  
  
"I wasn't done." She snapped, glaring at her younger cousin. "You make me want to perform a shrinking spell on my head so intense that my brain simply explodes into an infinite amount of pieces because of all the pressure. And then, because I would obviously be decapitated, I would want my headless body to fling itself off of the roof, and land. My organs, of course, would pop out of my neck. I'd litter the ground in a bloody, lifeless mess. Compared to you, however, it's quite appealing."  
  
"Lovely." Sirius said.  
  
"And do you know what really irks me?" She hissed, her nearly identical nose almost touching his.  
  
"Enliven me." He drawled, rolling his eyes.  
  
"The fact that you gave my Andy a Christmas present, but neither Nissa or I got one. Are we not good enough for the high and mighty Gryffindor?" She whispered, tilting his chin upward with the tip of her wand.  
  
"So this is all about a Christmas present?" He could buy her a chocolate frog for Godric's sake! He laughed squeakily, trying to maneuver himself out of such a vulnerable position.  
  
"No." She chirped, although it sounded oddly strangled. "You just disgrace the family." As though he didn't hear that enough.  
  
She tilted his chin higher with her wand, laughing satanically.  
  
"Oh come off it." Sirius groaned, although his heart was pounding double time. It rang in his ears, and he thought it was a wonder that it didn't make the very walls collapse on them.  
  
"Oh no, you're not getting off that easily." She cast a glance at Lucius, "I mean, look what you did to the poor fellow. You're only begging for a dose of your own medicine."  
  
'Think fast Sirius, think fast!' He thought in a panicked frenzy. Glancing over at Lucius, he somewhat lamented he had cursed boils onto his face. (He was nearly unconscious now). 'What would Prongsie boy do?'  
  
Prongsie boy!  
  
That was it! Grimmacing, Sirius raised his arm high in the air and flicked his wand, shouting a spell that dragon trainers used to extinguish fire. The candles immediately flickered out, and before Bellatrix could react Sirius had shouted, "Expelliarmus!" Snatching her wand he threw it behind his shoulder and shoved her out of the way, darting over to Lucius. "Finite Incantium!" He whispered, tucking his wand back into his robes. Immediately he transformed into a large, black dog and bounded over the motionless body on the floor.  
  
Sirius' claws clicked against the polished marble floor as he darted around furiously, searching for an exit. Bellatrix would be after him soon, as he could already hear the frustrated yells from behind. Much to his displeasure, Sirius darted into the open ballroom that was full of guests, aside from the aforementioned two. His shaggy black coat was stark against the white floor and he attempted to screech to a halt, unsuccessfully one might add. There were several audible gasps, and almost immediately Sirius had people rushing at him from all sides. So, he did the only thing he knew how to do. He ran.  
  
With one giant bound onto the refreshment table, Sirius saw his main objective. At the opposite end there was an open window! His paws were clumsy on the flimsy tablecloth, and several batches of cookies were sent flying across the floor. He successfully tipped over a punch bowl on an aging old wizard, and flung some crisp dip across the room catapult fashion. He could have sworn that he saw his Uncle Alphard doubled over in laughter out of the corner of his eye. Then came the main obstacle. A triple-layered wedding style cake (complete with real roses in the icing) stood in his way.  
  
Narcissa was throwing a fit nearby, sobbing hysterically. "Oh who let that wretched mutt in! Oh it's ruined! It's all simply ruined! I don't know how it could get any worse!"  
  
Lowering his head, Sirius plowed through the cake, splattering Narcissa's lurid pink dress robes with double-chocolate icing. Without a glance backward, he bounded through the window.  
  
Sirius sprinted madly across the yard, leaving the house to reconcile the damage he had caused. Mischief definitely managed. Prongsie boy would've been proud. 


End file.
